


Barred Teeth

by FallingInToThePages



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Luna Lovegood, Explorer Harry Potter, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Harry and Ginny go separate ways tho, Healer Draco Malfoy, Humor, M/M, Magical Zoologist Harry Potter, Minor Violence, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Protective Harry Potter, Slow Burn, Somewhat Graphic injuries, Swearing, Updated weekly, Zoologist Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-09 05:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15260871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingInToThePages/pseuds/FallingInToThePages
Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry shocks the entire wizarding world with his choice to delve into the world of Magical Zoology. Hijinks and shenanigans ensue.





	1. Trolls

From a young age, one Harry James Potter never knew what he wanted to be when he was older. He would ponder for days on end, but it was always a question that stumped him. Especially when he was told that he would never become anything special in life by his relatives. 

However, that attitude gradually changed for Harry after he was introduced to the wizarding world. Everything was a beautiful mystery; so new and so bright when compared to the dull and the dim nature of his life in the muggle world. Harry may have despised his role as a glorified, evil-destroying child in the Wizarding World, but he could never truly deny his dreams of creating a new life in it. So- he did.

Harry made a living out of observing the very beings that scared him and endured him to this new world, magical creatures. When asked where his fascination with creatures originated from, Harry claimed it to be when he watched the hatching of Norbert. 

That, added in with his history with dangerous creatures and his saving-people-thing, and you get a Harry Potter bent on becoming a magical zoologist.

And my- how the wizarding world was scandalized when Harry Freakin’ Potter stated that he would be going into Magical Zoology. With one Loony Luna Lovegood, they formed a partnership based around their similarly zany friendship. Regarding Luna, she had a strange knack for finding creatures in increasingly bewildering places.

She would often ring up Harry, like she did this very day: ”Oh watcher Harry,” her dreamy voice would float through his cheap muggle phone, ”I seem to have come upon a river troll, right by the River Thames.” Harry, now hurriedly changing into his work uniform, could catch the sounds of large portions of stone colliding with a magical shield. 

”Oh goodness Luna,” Harry would often exclaim in an exasperated voice, followed by the question of, ”Coordinates?” While Luna answered, Harry would definitely make sure that he had his wand on him (totally not because of that one time he had to bodily hurl himself at a rampaginng Murtlap in Wales). 

She typically laughed out something like, ”The perfect place for a picnic Harry; 51.5009° N, 0.0348° E.” With that, Luna blew Harry a raspberry and hung up, leaving Harry to apparate. 

Getting to the given location, Harry ran down a trail towards Luna with a simple Point-Me spell. Once Harry spotted them, he instinctively came to a halt at the impressive sight of the twelve and a half foot tall River Troll.

It’s hairy purple body glimmered in the sunlight, water still cascading down it’s back from where it came from. Observing the heavy ward that Luna had put over the fight to keep muggles away and to keep the creature in; Harry (being keyed into the ward) walked through it and pulled out a calming draught from his fanny pack. He spelled the draught into the creatures stomach. A move that was very practiced, a tad iffy, but made their job easier when dealing with very large creatyres. 

The Elder Wand thrummed in his gloved hand as Harry sprinted over to Luna. Once behind her shield, they breathlessly observed the calmed creature. ”Okay,” Harry ran his hand through his hair as they watched the creature sit down. ”What happened to set it off?” He asked Luna while his eyes checked her over for any wounds. ”Well, due to all of the commotion from the muggles and her possible pregnancy,” Luna began, easily showing Harry a wound on her arm and allowed him to heal it. ”Our lovely lady was territorial and mighty mad when she sensed another magical being near her part of the river,” Luna concluded, patting Harry’s arm in a sign of thanks.

Harry frowned slightly, ”Seems to be a trend with a majority of the creatures we have dealt with,” he sighed in frustration, watching the female troll stare up at the sky. ”I guess another creature in the reservation?” Harry looked to Luna for any other ideas, knowing that the troll needed to be relocated as soon as possible. Luna nodded, her face beaming with joy at the thought of the reservation they made to temporarily/permanently place the creatures that they encountered. She lowered her shield, keeping her wand at the ready as they slowly approached the troll.

The dark purple creature continued to gaze peacefully at the clouds, her large hands wrapped around her stomach in a relaxed position. Harry slowly levitated her into the air while Luna conjured up some rope to make sure that the creature didn't lash out at them. With both of them focused on the behemoth of a mother, they startled at the sound of a loud growl. Luna quickly finished tying up their lady troll and quickly stuck the emergency portkey that would bring her to the reservation onto her furry skin. 

Not having to hold the creature that they had been dealing with, Harry now turned his wand on the medium-sized troll now ascending from the river. Luna and Harry could both see that this creature was a juvenile male troll. Specifically from the distinctive lack of muscle that the female troll had on her body. ”Looks like mummy was also protecting her children, ” Harry muttered, putting his hand on Luna’s forearm in a habitual hold. ”Now it’s upon poor Jimmy to hold up the house, ” Luna joked, easily bringing both of them away from the angered troll with non-threatening strides back.

Harry gave a small chuckle, ignoring how the Elder Wand positively vibrated with the sight of a possible battle. They both hoped that the six-foot-tall troll would be cowed by the smell of two powerful magical beings. But he was apparently made of stronger stuff, as the troll heaved up a large rock and hurled it at them. ”Blimey!” Harry yelled as they both ducked and the rock hit the ward, falling to the ground a few meters behind them. Luna erected her signature shield, and they began to try to come up with a plan while they were showered with rocks and boulders. ”Bloody hell,” Harry fumed as he scratched at his brow and thought on how to take down the creature without significantly hurting it.

”Any other sort of beastie, and we could get this settled easily,” he huffed, getting a similar huff in agreement. Observing Luna’s condition, and how the creature was moving, Harry was struck with an idea. ”Okay,” he turned to Luna, garnering some of her attention, ”I’m going to go out there, levitate a rock, and bonk him on the head.” Luna rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation, ”There is a chance that you’ll be crushed by a rock,” she warned him. Harry shrugged while adjusting his dragon-hide jacket and gloves in a subconscious nervous tick, mentally preparing himself.

”All right,” he breathed out, and flashed Luna a charming smile. ”See you later, you Wrackspurt-infested twat,” Luna retorted with a similar grin. Harry braced himself, and casted a Notice-Me-Not spell on himself. Harry then easily levitated a medium sized rock and aimed it right at the male river trolls head. He found such a maneuver to be not that different from levitating a club. From there, the troll was effectively knocked out. Allowing Luna to drop her shield, and to sidle up to where Harry was when he canceled his spell. Luna playfully punched Harry's arm.

”Melodramatic prat you are,” she laughed, making him chuckle. They walked over to the knocked out troll and gave him the same, gentle treatment that they did with his mother. After sticking the same portkey on the troll, Luna and Harry stood on the side of the river. They gazed down into it with contemplating expressions, ”I suppose a dip is in order,” Luna pondered aloud, before she casted a bubble-head charm on herself and dove into the river.

Harry guffawed at the unexpected sequence, before he stripped off his jacket, casted the same spell, and dove right after her. With the ward controlling the river flow, the water was almost at a standstill. Which allowed Harry and Luna to descend down quite effectively. Towards the bottom of the river, they came upon a deep, underwater cave. A cave large enough to hold the two river trolls and, apparently, even more. Keeping the charms in place, despite the introduction of air, Luna and Harry surveyed the cave. 

In the corner farthest from the entrance, they could see two three-feet tall trolls. One had hair that was a shade of lilac, and the other had a darker tint to their own hair. They clutched what could only be the troll equivalent of teddy bears, and stared at the two of them with wide black eyes. Knowing that they couldn't understand a word that they would say, Harry and Luna simultaneously squatted down. The two pairs of species held a brief staredown before the trolls tentatively came over to them. 

What could only be out of innocence and curiosity, the lilac troll toddler came over to Harry, while the other went to Luna. The two humans were both subjected to the fresh smell of water, fish, and their mummy’s own scent. When the lilac troll actually leaned against Harry's arm, he couldn’t contain his exclamations of the whole adorable situation. ”They’re so precious,” he breathed out in an almost squee, looking over to Luna. He snorted quite loudly at the sight of the female baby troll attempting to feed Luna some of her boogers. Luna's pale lips were closed tightly, and her eyes shined with mirth as she gently guided the troll’s hands away from her lips.

”Let’s get them hooked up and ready to see mummy,” Harry stated after a few minutes of letting the baby trolls settle down. Luna nodded in agreement with a smile as she conjured up a few large baby carriers. They hooked the two in, and Luna pulled out their custom-made (read expensive) portkey for the reservation. They both grabbed a part of the plush dragon toy and felt the familiar tugging sensation. Once the world stopped leaning to one side, they both soothed the crying babies and made their way to the enclosure that housed mummy troll and big brother troll.

Seeing the two trolls resting on the grassy sides of the warded off lake, Harry and Luna cautiously slid through the wades. Making sure to keep their distance, yet stay close enough, they both unclipped the babies from the carriers and placed them on the ground. As the larger trolls startled awake from the scent of their younger relatives, Harry and Luna began to backpedal away from the family reunion.

Only for them to fall into a trap. Or at least, for Harry to fall into a trap. ”Holy Merlin!” Harry yelped as he fell into a deep hole. Luna’s dirty blonde hair crowded her face as she looked down at Harry in shock. ”Are you alright Harry?” She asked him in a quiet voice, her presence still unknown to the trolls after she casted a Notice-Me-Not spell. Harry sat up in the pile of leaves that had fallen with him, his brows furrowing at the pain that came from his back and his head. ”Could be better,” he replied, lifting his hand to massage his throbbing head.

A determined expression came to Luna’s fair features as she took a second to look back at the trolls. Seeing that they were relaxing by the side of the lake, Luna conjured up some climbing rope and a sturdy spike. She tied the rope around the spike, forced it into the ground, and tossed the rope down to Harry. Yelping as the rope hit him in the head, Luna muttered out a sorry as she tugged on the rope. ”Coming down, ” she called softly as she descended into the eight-foot hole. ”Merlin, it smells like a shithole down here,” Harry bit out, rubbing his head.

Luna made a grossed out expression, but didn't comment for Harry's sake. Once she was level with Harry, Luna grabbed his arm, and got him settled for appearing to St. Mungo’s. ”Alrighty,” she blew out a breath before she transported away from the hole and to St. Mungo’s.


	2. Paging Healer Malfoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :)  
> It was pretty fun to make.

Draco Malfoy loved and hated his job. He loved helping people and he loved proving people wrong. He was a spiteful person by nature, so turning people’s worlds upside down was very satisfying to him.  
He just didn’t like the paperwork really, and the awkward conversations that came about in between treating patients. He found many surprising allies in his field of work, especially when he showed that he was actually decent at healing and brewing potions when there was a sudden shortage.

But when Draco headed into a room that was given to a patient with an emergency portkey, he immediately wished that he wasn't a healer. He forcefully controlled his emotions at the doorway, subconsciously checking to see if all of his hair was tied back as to ground himself. Schooling his facial features to be as professional as they typically were and he knocked on the doorframe.  
”Hello, Mr. Potter, Ms. Lovegood,” Draco greeted in a polite voice once they looked towards him with shocked expressions. “What seems to be the problem today?” He asked as he went to the sink, washed his hands, and pulled on a pair of gloves and picked up the clipboard on the counter.

Luna gave him a smile and related every single detail of what occurred to bring Harry to the poop-covered, dazed, and injured state that he was in now. Draco was slightly impressed with the pair, but only jotted down the important details. His steely eyes scanned Harry’s dirty and tensed condition while Luna finished up the story. Draco could barely hide the grimace that came with his patient's stench.  
”As procedure calls, I'll need to cast a cleansing charm and a diagnostic spell on you, Mr. Potter,” Draco explained in a calm voice, knowing that most did not trust him without knowing what he was doing.

”So you don't like my new colon-gne?” Harry asked Draco in a deadpan voice, his face serious. Draco snorted bemusedly, a smirk coming to his lips as he clutched his clipboard to his chest and shook his head. Luna suddenly groaned after a few moments, placing her head in her hands while Harry smirked.  
”Colon-gne?” She muttered in a heartbroken voice, looking into Harry’s smug face with devastated eyes. Draco cleared his throat, ”As much as I would love to hear this quarrel go down, ” Draco gave both of them a pointed look, ”We must see what is wrong first.”

Harry and Luna nodded, though Draco could see that Harry was much more relaxed than how he was before the puns came out. He unsheathed his wand from its holder that was hooked over his uniform. ”I’ll be casting the cleansing charm first,” he informed the other man, habitually watching for any sudden aggression.  
Harry shuffled uncomfortably, but ultimately forced himself relaxed against the cushioned exam table. Flashing Draco a thumbs-up. Draco gave a huff and a small smile at the childish gesture, before swiftly going through the motions of the spell easily.

Without the outrageous smell of scat in the room, Draco did the same thing for the standard diagnostic spell. Waiting for a list compiled with the diagnosis to pop out of the tip of his wand, Draco braced himself for the inevitable small talk that was to come.  
Surprisingly, Luna was the one to initiate it instead of Harry. ”So Draco, how have things been since the trials?” Luna inquired in a polite tone, her hand resting on Harry’s arm in a calming gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Draco.

Crossing his arms and leaning against the sink with a sigh, he said, ”Well enough I suppose,” he flashed a tired smile. ”My mother is still alive, and I've been able to get a job after my house arrest- so I'm happy,” he informed them modestly.  
He didn't clamor over himself to thank Harry, especially since he had done that before and immediately after the trials had ended. Draco and his mother had been able to get off with little punishment, while Lucius had been sent to Azkaban to recieve The Kiss. Draco and Narcissa had been able to avoid such a sentence due to the fact that they had stated under veritaserum that they hadn’t taken part in any Death Eater ambushes, and had evidence that they had been forced to comply through force and fear.

”How is Narcissa?” Harry asked, startling Draco with his sincerity and overall non-threatening tone. Draco gave a small smile, ”She’s been well,” he told Harry, holding his inquiring gaze with fairly warm eyes. Feeling like he could part with the information, he added, ”She’s been seeing a mind healer to deal with the stress and trauma.”  
Luna and Harry nodded in understanding, both having a good idea of what could have happened to her and Draco during the time in which the Death Eater’s operated out of Malfoy Manor.

”And you?” Luna asked in a gentle voice, causing Draco to pierce his lips at such a delicate topic. Before he could reply, his wand shot out the paper detailing Harry’s condition. He habitually sheathed his wand and busied himself with looking over the diagnosis. Effectively avoiding answering the question.  
He hummed in consideration, ”Nothing too bad, typical injuries for falling down less than a story, ” he informed the pair. ”You have managed to come out with a mild concussion and some bruising to your spine, ” he informed Harry with a calm tone.

Harry’s brows furrowed as he brought a hand to the back of his head, ”Yeah, I think I remember hitting my head off of a rock or something, ” he admitted. He felt slightly stupid for not bringing it up sooner since he could faintly recall blacking out at some point and feeling abnormally dizzy after portkeying to the hospital.  
Draco nodded while he jotted this information down, ”For your spine, I’ll be prescribing you a bruise salve, which should help with any aches, ” he informed Harry, before tapping his pen against his lips in thought. ”Did you black out or feel nauseous after falling down the hole, Mr. Potter?” Draco asked him seriously, internally smirking at how an uncomfortable grimace came to Harry’s face at Draco's new use of his last name.

”Yeah to both questions, ” he groaned out in embarrassment, knowing that he would hear it from Ron and Hermione. Motherhens, the both of them. Draco nodded to himself and went to write more notes, ”I’ll need to cast a more specific diagnostic spell targeting any neurological injuries as to determine what dosage you’d need for the Wiggenweld Potion.”  
He easily explained to his patient. Harry gave a relaxed nod and watched as Draco unsheathed his wand once more. Harry observed the complicated wand-motions that Draco performed, and saw a piece of paper pop out of the tip of his wand.

Swiftly catching it, Draco read the information expertly before nodding. “You’ll be needing a fairly strong dosage, though Healer Abbott will be able to take care of it,” Draco told them. He collected all of his notes and diagnosis and expertly folded them into a crane. He taped the top of the notes, and it flew off to Healer Abbott’s desk.  
Draco turned towards the two and clapped his hands, ”Alright, may I escort you both to Ms. Abbott’s desk to pick up your prescriptions?” He offered politely. Harry and Luna shared a bemused look before nodding, and Harry hopped down from the table. 

Luna curled her hand around Harry’s forearm as to steady him, and they walked steadily behind Draco. Draco expertly guided them around the bustling hospital, before coming to an open door. He knocked on the frame, catching Hannah Abbott’s attention from where she was browsing the rows of potions and salves.  
She gave him a sly smile when she caught the view of Luna and Harry behind him. “Why hello Healer Malfoy,” she drawled out in a dull voice, “Coming to pick up some drugs?” She joked, making Draco roll his eyes at the inside joke. He walked up to the counter and momentarily leaned against it like a punk, ”Indeed I am Healer Abbott, ” he agreed, giving her a small rueful smile in return as he straightened out.

Hannah happily handed over the two requested items before grabbing a paper butterfly and going back to work. Taking the standard paperwork that was required, Draco scribbled his signature and turned towards the two with the paper bags.  
Luna took the bags of medicine with one hand, glanced at Harry, before boldly stating, ”I think we all need to book a brunch together sometime.” Draco quirked a brow down at her, his posture slightly tense as he fiddled with the lordship ring on his hand. Draco analyzing her and Harry’s overall non-threatening actions and politeness throughout the appointment. 

”I don't see why not, ” he gave as confirmation, ”I have this upcoming Friday off, ” Draco informed them, really not used to going out since he had become a healer. ”Brill, we can meet at this wonderful muggle café I frequent, ” Luna practically vibrated with joy, while Harry blinked at Luna in shock. ”Blimey, ” he muttered to himself in a resigned voice, allowing himself to be dragged by Luna through the hospital as Draco guided them to the nearest apparition site.  
Harry grumpily tuned Luna out as she babbled to Draco about other creatures that they’ve encountered, successfully drawing the healer into talking comfortably with her. Harry was slightly irritated that Luna had made plans for them without asking him if he even wanted to catch up with Draco. He sighed it off, knowing that Luna always had a method to her madness. Harry subtly side-eyed Draco, observing his animated gestures and quite handsome features. ’It could be fun, ’ he grudgingly thought to himself, ’Getting to know this Draco.’ 

Draco’s timbre voice broke through Harry’s thoughts, ”Well, it's been a blast guys, but here we are, ” he chuckled, gesturing awkwardly to the apparition room, ”Let’s just hope I don't see the both of you guys here too soon, yeah?” He gave them both a charming smile before he hustled away, mentally kicking his ass for the cringy line.  
Luna lead Harry into the room, but before she could actually apparate away, Harry gave her arm a pinch. She pinched him back with a huff, before giving him her attention. ”Brill Draco, let's go have a brunch, ” He mimicked her voice, making it annoyingly shrill and horribly girly. Luna had the audacity to cackle and wink at him, before she apparated them away with a pop.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> *dodges garbage and household appliances*
> 
> Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, and reappearing all of a sudden!  
> A lot has happened in my life that’s distracted me from writing- good and bad. But here I am once again with another shitty fanfic. :D
> 
> Hope you guys like it, and can muster up some patience with me and my constant procrastination. I will be attempting to publish a new chapter every Saturday.


End file.
